Farhat's Muslim Sticker Blog

Book Review: What Islam Is All About

Author: Yahiya Emerick

I think this book is a very good book for children aged about 8-11 to start learning about the basics of Islam. It teaches everything from understanding the Qur’an to the life of the Blessed Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). I read it with my Mum once a week and I enjoy learning new things about Islam from it. The author explains in lots of detail the beliefs of Islam in lots of chapters. I like this book because it has some stories from the Qur’an and some sayings of the prophet and his companions. The way the author writes makes the book really enjoyable and easy to understand. It is a very well thought out Islamic book.

Musab, aged 11.

O you who believe! Fasting has been ordained on you as it was ordained for those before you so that you may remain conscious of Allah(2;183)

Every act of the son of adam is for himself except fasting: it is for Me and I shall reward it.

“Indeed, We have indeed revealed this (Message) in the Night of Power. And what will explain to thee what the night of power is? The Night of Power is better than a thousand months.” Qur’an (97:1-3)

There is a gate in Paradise called Ar Raiyan and those who observe fasting will enter through it on the Day of Resurrection, none but them should enter through it.                     (Bukhari)

When the month of Ramadhan comes, the gates of heaven are open and the gates of hell are closed and the devils are chained.  (Bukari)

“Ramadhan is the (month) in which the Qur’an was sent down, as a guide to mankind, also clear (Signs) for guidance and judgment (Between right and wrong). So every one of you who is present (at his home) during that month should spend it in fasting…” Qur’an (2:185).

Ramadan and Quran

Its significance in Ramadan:

“Ramadhan is the (month) in which the Qur’an was sent down, as a guide to mankind, also clear (Signs) for guidance and judgment (Between right and wrong). So every one of you who is present (at his home) during that month should spend it in fasting…” Qur’an (2:185).

“Shahru ramadaana llethi unzila feehil quraana huda linnaasi wa bayyinaatin minal hudaa wal furqaan. Fa man shahida minkumu shahra fal yasumhu”

This Qur’anic verse explains the inseparable link between the Qur’an and the month of Ramadan. The revelation of the Qur’an to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon Him) began in this month. Some scholars have explained that the word ‘so’ (fa) in this ayah leads to the following paraphrase of one aspect of its meaning: “Fast this month because it is the one in which the Qur’an was sent down”. The night in which the Qur’an was revealed is known as The Night of Power or The Night of Destiny. This night is referred to by the Qur’an in the following verses:

“Indeed, We have indeed revealed this (Message) in the Night of Power. And what will explain to thee what the night of power is? The Night of Power is better than a thousand months.” Qur’an (97:1-3)

Some Key facts on the Qur’an:

Given the importance attached to this night, Muslims are expected to exert themselves in worship in it. It is a time for especially fervent and devoted prayer, and the rewards and blessings associated with such are manifold. Muslims are told in the Qur’an that praying throughout this one night is better than a thousand months of prayer. No one knows exactly which night it is; it is one of God’s mysteries. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) instructed Muslims to search for this Night of Power during the odd nights of the last ten days of Ramadan without specifying any day. However, due to the sayings of some of his companions, many scholars believe it to be on the 27th day. During this night it is highly meritorious to spend as much time as possible in prayer, seeking forgiveness and supplicating to God Almighty

Another traditional link between the Qur’an and Ramadan is that it is highly meritorious to complete reciting the Qur’an in the holy month of Ramadan. The word ‘Qur’an’ in Arabic comes from the root word ‘qa ra a’ which means to recite. Hence it literally means ‘recitation’ or ‘proclamation’. It is believed that it was recited to the Prophet Muhammad(peace be upon him) by the Archangel Gabriel (Jibreel, alayhi salaam) over a period of twenty three years. Muslims are encouraged to read the Qur’an regularly and more so in the holy month of Ramadan. The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to recite the whole Qur’an to the Archangel Gabriel (Jibreel, alayhi salaam) once every Ramadan and twice in the year in which He died. Muslim scholars over the centuries have been known to leave other optional acts of worship in order to focus on reciting the Qur’an in the blessed month of Ramadan. Hence many Muslims emulate this practice by completing the recitation of the whole Qur’an at least once in the month of Ramadan - especially during the night (taraweeh) prayers.

Ramadhan quiz

When do muslims begin fasting?

___________________________________________________________

Why do Muslims fast?

____________________________________________________________

How many days are there in Ramadhan? ___________________________________

What part of the day do Muslims fast for? __________________________________

What is the Arabic word for fast? _________________________________________

What is suhoor? ______________________________________________________

What should you break your fast with? _____________________________________________________

What is the reward of a good deed in Ramadhan? _____________________________________________________

What is the Arabic name for the Night of Power? ____________________________

Give two reasons why the Night of Power is special?

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Name 4 things which you should do in Ramadhan to gain Allah’s pleasure?

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ramadhan Project ideas

More ideas for teachers and parents

Ramadhan Activities

To help the children understand and gain as much reward as possible during ramadhan here is a list of projects that parents or teachers can do in their Islamic studies and art lessons.

1. “Why I love Ramadhan”.

Write a short piece on “Why I love Ramadhan”. The work sheet is on the blog.

2. Ramadhan book

Each child will have a book that they can put their work in during the weeks. You will need to have this prepared before hand.

3. Ramadhan Display

Every class/child can produce a colourful display for their bedroom/classroom. The display should include written work and pictures produced by the children.

4. Art lessons

Art lessons/time are to be used for Ramadhan art projects.

5.   Ramadhan Class/family Presentation

Prepare Ramadhan presentations to be shown at assembly time/tea time. You can choose  age appropriate topics .

6. Preparation for Eid

Kids should make cards and a gift for their parents. Set a date for eid party make invitations, list of games,decorations and a menu. Kids can help prepare the food, keep it as healthy as possible.

I love ramadhan

Worsheet for kids to write their thoughts on why they love ramadhan. Can be used at the beginning of ramadhan to get kids to reflect on the meaning of ramadhan.

Understanding your child’s behaviour

A quick checklist of reasons why children misbehave

Applying Consequences and Encouraging Responsibility

This table shows ways of allowing children to learn from the consequences of their actions.

Sample Islamic School behaviour policy

This policy has been written by qualified teachers and was used successfully in an islamic school. You can adapt it to the needs of your school.

Behaviour Charts do they work?

Yes they do!

Charts work for 2 simple reasons: firstly, children love them secondly, they break the cycle of nagging and telling off that is so easy to fall into as parents - a chart provides a really positive way (using encouragement and praise) for the whole family to try and tackle and issue.

Reward or Bribe?

Some people don’t like the notion of “bribing” a child to do something. But using rewards adds to the child’s excitement and helps build towards a sense of achievement when the chart is finished. Rewards shouldn’t be expensive, they should be treats - little things that mean a lot.

Some ideas for rewards?

New book, trip to the park, family outing, new (small) toy, sleep over, trip to the seaside, extra bedtime story, choice of menu for the weekend, special cake gets baked, new coloring pens…

There are practically hundreds of things you could think of but the most important thing is it should be something the child wants, even better, something they choose themselves (with a little bit of parental guidance). Avoid junk food and anything expensive in the long run it will be counter productive and you will end up spoiling your child.

At what age can a child use a chart?

This depends on the child in question. A good rule of thumb is charts should work for children from 3+. However, the more important things to consider are whether the child is capable of tackling the issue you want to address.

What issues can I tackle with a behaviour chart?

You can use a chart to tackle all sorts of everyday family issues, for example: educational achievements, daily activities, resolving a problem, encouraging good adaab.

Some ideas on what to write

Don’t use charts for everything - use them in moderation. The real joy of using a chart is it proves to you that positive encouragement and praise is what kids really respond to.

• say please and jazakallah khair
• go to bed on time
• do my homework/Islamic Studies
• share my toys
• put shoes/clothes away
• clothes in laundry basket
• make my bed
• brush my teeth
• be kind to siblings
• tidy my room
• finish my food
• read quran
• wash myself on the toilet
• get dressed
• clear away my toys
• help around the house
• say my duas
• pray salah

The Golden Rules…

Please take a few minutes to read through the instructions that are supplied with your chart - as a quick summary here are the golden rules you should follow:

Stick to a few issues and be realistic.

Think about ways you can help your child.

Stay positive and concentrate on praising success.

Involve your child before you start using a chart - they must want to tackle the issue and must also understand how the chart is going to work.

Never take away stickers or rewards.

To smack or not to smack ( by Nazia Jalali)

“Don’t do that!” orders Sairah agitated by her child’s incessant need to jump on her friend’s sofa. A few seconds later, the undeterred child receives a second warning from his now very embarrassed mother when she breaks from the conversation with her friend, “ Hamza I told you not to do that –you’ll hurt yourself!” Another few moments pass and she looks up again to see little Hamza, still jumping for the stars, giggling defiantly. This time Sairah sighs and continues her conversation with her friend.

Sound familiar? Perhaps - so when it happens, what is the irate parent to do?  Smacking a child may see you labelled a child abuser. Ignoring them means being branded an incompetent parent. In fact, the common responses from parents after the mandatory warnings and rebukes are variable. When faced with situations like that above, it is all to common to see the parent retreating in to their shell, ignoring the situation in the hope that it will sort itself out, whilst desperately praying that no one will notice their child’s questionable antics.

Some say the child should be allowed to play freely after all, “ Imran’s just a child, we can’t expect too much from him.” Other insist that they must be punished – ‘If we don’t teach Samia manners now, who knows what she’ll turn out like?’

For Muslim parents, the divine instruction is simple. We must first and foremost understand that the nurturing of children is a sacred trust that Allah (swt) has given to all parents. Parents are duty-bound to bring up and educate their children in the best manner, teaching them right and wrong according to the criteria laid down by their Creator. The aim of this careful nurturing is that upon reaching the age of maturity (baligh), they become responsible and productive members of the community, obeying the will of their Creator, and at the same time being excellent examples for the wider society around them.

But what does this careful nurturing practically entail? The mere mention of the word discipline makes some parents cringe, as they conjure up images of bruised and battered children. But in reality, there is a difference between discipline and punishment which are not necessarily the same thing.

“What is discipline?”

Punishment on its own just describes an act of chastisement that does not necessarily explain to the child why their action was wrong. But discipline is the training to establish a pattern of appropriate behaviour in youngsters, which will build a link in their minds between their conduct, and a notion of right and wrong. For the child, a process of thoughtful and careful discipline, should lead them to understand that their behaviour has boundaries, which when crossed may result in punishment.

“How and where should boundaries be set?”

As a rule for Muslim parents, children should of course be taught the basic criteria of haram and halal. They should be taught that that good things are halal, and bad things are haram, and every effort should be made to make them realise the difference between these two limits. In this way, they would be encouraged to link their behaviour with the pleasure and anger of Allah (swt). This in turn paves their way to understanding the concept of accountability, which will form the basis of their future actions throughout life.

“Who should best discipline them?”

It is essential for both parents to be involved in disciplining their children, and in this regard, consistency in essential. If there is no consistency between mother and father, discipline becomes almost impossible to establish, and the child will quickly learn to play one parent off against the other. So when Hamza starts jumping on the furniture, he finds himself rebuked by his mother and ordered to stop. He then rushes over to his father in another room, only to receive a big hug, and to be told, ‘don’t worry Hamza it’s OK, here’s a lollipop for you if you stop crying.’ You have just witnessed the end of effective discipline!

If both parents are not unified in enforcing discipline then this could easily lead to the children being confused and result in them not taking either of the parents instructions seriously, which could cause them to become disobedient.

In general, parents are unlikely to differ in matters of discipline related to haram and the halal. For example, if a child steals or lies, neither parent will condone such behaviour. The potential area of conflict is in the area of mubah – i.e. those matters of general behaviour which are open to parents to decide, such as jumping on the sofa, sitting quietly at the dinner table etc. Sometimes, parents may disagree with each other over certain rules of conduct of methods of discipline. But never the less it is essential that both parents discuss the matter and come to an agreement. Otherwise, the clash of values may quickly create conflict (fitnah) in the household.

“What age should I start to discipline my child?”

The earlier the better! Some parents may feel that very small children are too young to grasp rules, let alone understand anything you might say. However, these early years can in fact be crucial to establishing a good pattern of behaviour. Once a good pattern is established, it will always be easier to maintain, whilst once bad habits are established they are very hard to break. For example if a child begins to express his artistic flare by scribbling on the walls, you might think they are too young to reason with and correct. You therefore decide to ignore it and let them carry on, making a mental note to white wash the walls at a later date – after all, a re-paint was well overdue anyway. But delaying the explanations for when they are older, and then later trying to explain to the child that,“ we draw on paper not on the walls,”- will only lead to confusion. After all how can something that was acceptable yesterday be suddenly be forbidden today? Most experts agree that there has to be consistency when establishing rules. So in the younger days, while the child may not quite understand your kind instruction, if combined with preventing the behaviour from which it arises and hiding the pens if they cannot be supervised whilst using them, the rule will be established early on.

“What if they cry when the are refused something?”

Children are very perceptive, and quickly realise it if every time they cry they can get what they want. But if you console them while not giving in to their demands, them they will soon understand that crying will get them nowhere. So let them cry for a little while and don’t give in. Initially this will be hard for both parent and child, but perseverance and patience will find the whining and crying abating. The choice is yours; you could either deal with the cries for a few days or spend the rest of your life listening to them.

“What are the morals that should be taught?”

When children misbehave they should be taught to say sorry, as they will learn what is to be expected from them by others and by Allah (swt).  They should also be taught to seek Allah’s (swt) forgiveness and apologise to people they hurt and upset by their words or actions. This will help to instil a conscience within them.

In addition, parents should always accept a child’s apology for their bad behaviour. When we do something wrong we turn to Allah and seek and hope for his forgiveness. We in turn should try also to be quick to forgive – it is like a kind of reward for desisting from bad behaviour. This teaches your child the virtue of mercy. Make it clear to your child that you love them especially after they have been in trouble and they have apologised, so that no bad feelings remain between you.

Similarly don’t fall victim to pride by failing to apologise when you yourself make a mistake, as this is crucial in establishing in your child a belief in your sense of justice. It also stops you from being seen as a tyrant or an unfair parent.

“Who should be their role models?”

You should try your utmost to stop them from talking about pop stars, actors or sports personalities as people worthy of being followed.  Such people are far from the correct example that Muslims should look up to. Instead, let their role models be the prophets, the Sahaba and the countless heros of Islam.  By frequently reading to them about the lives of such great people, you will cause your child to admire them and strive to be like them. So in general, we should teach them Islam from a very young age.

“What are the limits of punishments according to Shari’ah?”

The example of the Prophet, upon whom be the peace and blessings of Allah, needs to be kept in mind. The Prophet’s (saw) treatment of children was always loving and encouraging. For example, his kindness to his nephew, Ibn ‘Abbss, is well known. The Hadith records instances of his delivering the Friday khutbah while holding his grandsons in his arms, of his making sajdah in salah (as the imam in the mosque) with his granddaughter on his back; of his kindness toward Anas ibn Malik as a boy, and of his annoyance with the bedouin who confessed that he had never kissed his own children.

While it is generally accepted that the Prophet (saw) never physically rebuked children himself, mild physical punishment is allowed in Islam, but not in a way that causes harm. In knowing this, however it is important to bear in mind Prophet’s (saw) personal example, which is the ideal that all Muslims must aspire to conform to.

If gentle force is used by a parent on their child, it should not be enough to leave redness or marks, and it is prohibited to smack on the face or private parts.

The Prophet (saw) urged parents to teach their children to begin practicing their daily prayers by the age of seven. If they did not start the practice by the age of ten, he (saw) instructed that they should be disciplined by physical means without causing them harm or injury. In fact, if parents themselves pray at home and take their children to the mosque at an early age, it is very common for children to wish to pray of their own accord, without the need for any physical punishment.

“What methods can I use to punish a child that has misbehaved?”

There are many books available on disciplining children that can be used as aids to understanding children and which provide useful do’s and don’ts with respect to types of punishments. Providing that there are no contradictions to the Shar’iyah, there is no harm in using these books as a source for advice. The following are outlines of some common methods of dealing with inappropriate behaviour in children.

‘TIME OUT’

Definition -To remove the child from a deteriorating situation and place them in another room. This takes the child from his position on centre stage to a less prominent place where his antics pass unnoticed.  It is good technique for a few reasons.

1. It gives the child a chance to cool down and permits older children a chance to reflect on their behaviour against the values taught by their parents of what pleases and displeases Allah. Making a child understand the difference between what is right and wrong is very difficult when both parties are in a state of anger.
2. It allows the parents to calm themselves down, and seek refuge in Allah, and to remember that children are a test from Allah. They can also reflect on the hadith “ if you are angry sit down.” There is much reward for those who exert patience in the most testing of times.
3. Time out also prevents a situation arising where the parent could inadvertently harm the child excessively in a state of rage.
4. If for example, two siblings are fighting, placing each of them in different rooms diffuses the anger and more importantly breaks up the fight and prevents the possibility of any harm befalling them.

SENDING YOUR CHILD TO THEIR ROOM

If children persist in disobedience, then they should be warned and threatened with being sent to their room. If they continue, then they should be taken to their room and left alone there until they apologize for their mistake. Of course, care should be taken with very young children who need constant supervision.  If a child is having a tantrum, they should not be allowed to carry this out in a way that disturbs others, or attracts too much attention. Sending them to their room until they calm down will soon teach them that such behaviour achieves nothing.

WITHOLDING PRIVILAGES

Threats to withhold privileges such as an outing to the park, or playing with a favourite toy are useful only if your child believes you. Therefore, if such threats are made, they should be carried out. Apologies should be accepted, and privileges should be restored once the child returns to correct behaviour.

GIVING REWARDS

If  your child is rewarded for a good action by being given a treat or a praise then they are more likely to do it again and therefore develop a good habit. However it should be noted that rewards should not become bribes. So don’t say, “ If you listen to me I’ll will give you a ice lolly.” This could lead to the child only doing something good if ‘there was something in it for them.’ Rewards should be a spontaneous gesture from your part as a sign of appreciation for your child’s good actions. So the child should not expect anything. What would be more appropriate if you were to say “ Since you have been such a good girl I’m going to take you the park.”

Be careful that a relationship is not established where the child expects reward every time they do a good action. As the child gets older he shouldn’t need to be given rewards as often although you should still continue to express your appreciation of their good behaviour. You should also make them aware that whilst they may not receive a reward from you for the good actions, they may still receive one from Allah (swt).

SHOWING DISAPPOINTMENT

If you have a strong relationship with your child then a great impact can be made upon them by a simple expression of disappointment or dissatisfaction.  When they misbehave and you tell them that you are angry with them and refuse to play because of their actions the child will most likely feel bad feel the need to say sorry. The effect of this method is reinforced when more than one member of the family objects.

If parents establish effective discipline and follow it through consistently

THE IMPORTANCE OF SPENDING ‘FAMILY TIME’

Fundamental to effective discipline of a child is the nurturing of a strong relationship between parent and child, which is based on love, kindness and mutual respect. A child is more likely to obey a parent whom they love and respect, and whom they wish to please. If they perceive that the parent is pre-occupied with other things, and not really concerned about the child’s day top day interests, they too will feel it acceptable to ignore their parents orders and wishes.

The best way to establish the kind of sound relationship that is needed is by spending quality time together as a family. In today’s fast pace of life, with high cost of living, endless taxation and often the need for both parents to work in order to make ends meet, it can be very easy to let the time spent with the children slip. It is all too common to see children being left for school, TV and the society in general to take the role of building a child’s personality.

If on the other hand, parents make as much effort as they can to talk and play with their children, as well as teach them about values and right behaviour, the result can be great. Simple measures can help to build a strong family bond. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Eat meals together at the table instead of at different times or in front of the TV. Try to make this a regular family activity, where all are present. It is a good time to talk.
2. Mum and dad should regularly read to the children, even if it is just a bedtime story. Choose Islamic stories as well as conventional children’s books, as this will help to nurture an Islamic identity in the child, and create positive role models.
3. Try not to use the TV or video games as a ‘baby sitter’. It is all too easy for children to be absorbed into these activities, and be forgotten about by their parents. Instead play interactive games with each other, such as board games, or outdoor games.
4. Dad should take the children to the mosque wherever possible – such as during Juma or on weekends, so that children begin to find the mosque a familiar and enjoyable place.
5. Pray in Jamaat at home, and encourage small children to join in. Buying children’s hijabs/prayer hats and small prayer mats can help to encourage them.

`“And know that your possessions and your offspring are only a trial; and that it is Allah with whom there is a tremendous reward” [TMQ 8: 28].

Ramadhan Reminder Frame!

Parents have the responsibility of explaining to children the importance of Ramadhan.  Fasting is one of the many ways we worship Allah (swt) it also one of the five pillars of Islam. The following activity will help your children understand and remember why we fast.

Things you need:

• Glue
• Scissors
• A4 paper (plain/ coloured)
• Frame to put final picture in and hang in room
• Varity of material for decoration purposes: Glitter, beads, sequins, etc
• Colouring pens/ pencils
• Selection of hadiths and ayahs related to ramadhan
• Islamic pictures from old Eid cards, Islamic calendars, wall pictures, etc

What to do:

1. Using a sheet of A4 paper, draw an outline of a mosque or prayer mat.
2. Have a selection of simple to understand hadiths/ ayahs related to ramadhan ready, preferably as a photocopied version. Choose a hadith/ ayah which they really like and can remember easily, they can write the ayah/hadith in the centre of the picture they have already drawn out. Or they can cut out and stick the ayah/hadith.
3. Cut out the picture from its outline and stick onto a sheet of coloured A4 paper using glue.
4. Decorate the final picture using glitter, beads, sequins, etc. Have an A4 sized picture frame ready and after the picture has dried put it into the frame.
5. They can put the framed picture in an area of their room where they can see the picture clearly during the month of Ramadhan, helping them to remember what Ramadhan is about and the importance of this month.
6. Your child could make a few frames and give them as gifts to their friends at the beginning of Ramadan.